What Is International Solo Polyamory Day?

A Guide for Anyone Curious About Solo Polyamory Day

Every year on September 24th, a growing number of people around the world recognize International Solo Polyamory Day, a celebration that’s as much about autonomy and intentional relationships as it is about love and connection. 

But if you’re not familiar with polyamory, it might all sound a bit confusing.

This post breaks it down in a way that’s easy to understand, especially if you're new to these terms.

First, What Is Polyamory?

Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM). That means people who are polyamorous may have multiple loving, romantic, or sexual relationships, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

It’s important to understand that polyamory is not:

• Cheating, which involves deceit and/or betrayal.
   
• Swinging, which usually focuses more on recreational sex than emotional or romantic connections (though some swingers may form deeper relationships).
   
• Polygamy/Polyandry, which is the practice of one person taking multiple spouses, and often has a severe power imbalance and violations of gender equality.
  
  

Polyamory is based on values such as honesty, communication, consent, and respect. People who practice polyamory often work very hard to build strong, transparent relationships with multiple partners.

Key “Poly” Terms You Might Hear

If you're not familiar with the polyamorous world, here are a few commonly used terms that can help make things clearer:

• Metamour: Your partner's other partner. For example, if you're dating Alex, and Alex is also dating Jamie, then Jamie is your metamour. You may or may not be close with your metamour, but ideally there’s mutual respect.
   
• Nesting Partner: A partner you live with or share a household with. Solo poly people often don't have a nesting partner, but some do. Solo poly is about choosing what works best for you.
   
• Relationship Escalator: The socially accepted idea that relationships should progress in a certain way (dating → moving in → engagement → marriage → kids). Many polyamorous people, especially solo poly folks, choose to step off this "escalator" in favor of less traditional, more flexible paths. The term being popularized is often attributed to Aggie Sez, a longtime writer and advocate for solo polyamory, who launched the blog SoloPoly.net and wrote the book Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator

What Does “Solo Polyamory” Mean?

Solo polyamory (or solo poly) is a specific approach within the wider polyamorous community. 

Someone who identifies as solo poly might:

• Choose not to have a primary or "nesting" partner (a partner they live with). 
• Value their independence - maybe they live alone, keep their finances separate, and make life decisions as an individual.
• Practice “Self-partnership” -  The concept of prioritizing one's own needs and well-being as the primary focus of one's life.
• Still maintain deep, committed, and meaningful relationships, just not ones that are organized around merging lives (like cohabiting or marrying).
  
  

In solo polyamory, people often prioritize relationship choice, freedom, and self-identity over following traditional relationship escalators (like dating → moving in → marriage → kids). 

That doesn’t mean solo poly people don’t fall in love or have long-term relationships, as that’s a core piece of polyamory. They just do so on their own terms.

What Is International Solo Polyamory Day?

International Solo Polyamory Day (September 24th) is a day to:

• Recognize solo polyamorous people, who are often overlooked even within polyamory communities.
   
• Celebrate autonomy, diversity, and chosen family.
   
• Raise awareness about this being a valid way of forming relationships, especially in a world that still privileges monogamous, coupled, and cohabiting lifestyles.
  
  

Why Should This Matter to Non-Polyamorous People?

Even if you’re monogamous and happy to stay that way, understanding other relationship styles helps create a more inclusive, compassionate world. Solo polyamory often overlaps with queer, trans, and nonbinary identities, and many people drawn to this relationship style come from communities that already challenge social norms.

Celebrating International Solo Polyamory Day is about making space for everyone to love how they choose, without shame or stigma.

A Message for All

Whether you’re single, partnered, monogamous, polyamorous, aromantic, or somewhere else entirely, this day is an invitation to be curious, kind, and open-hearted. Relationships are not one-size-fits-all, and the diversity of human connection is something worth honoring.

Happy International Solo Polyamory Day! 💖

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If you're interested in learning more, here are some helpful resources:

• SoloPoly.net 
  
  • The blog and website of Aggie Sez (Amy Gahran)
     
• Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life 
  
  • The seminal book by Amy Gahran (Aggie Sez)
      
• https://www.reddit.com/r/SoloPoly 
  
  • A discussion forum centered around the solo-poly lifestyle
     

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